06 May 2014

+JMJ+

Teaser Tuesday Again!


Now that Locus Focus is back, I'm trying to see how many other memes I can squeeze into May.

Teaser Tuesday was never one of my favourites, but I did like personalising the basic challenge to find two sentences from a book by trying to find two "legs" that a book could walk around on if it needed to introduce itself to new people. (Get it? =P) Since this isn't easy to do with every book, I made myself wait for books which also had legs on their covers. Preferably two legs.

Mary Ainsworth was fascinated by the way in which children's exploratory drive--their ability to play and learn--could be aroused or stifled by their mother's presence or departure.

She found that having an attachment figure in the room was enough to allow a child to go out into a previously unknown environment and explore with confidence.

As you can see, Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller doesn't have two legs; but I figured that two magnets were good enough. =) And the two sentences I picked are definitely great legs for the whole book.

The emotional needs of babies may seem to be an odd cornerstone for a book on adult relationships, but I think it makes great sense. And I was personally more open to what the authors had to say about adult attachment after they explained that it was based on the mother-child bond.

That sounds a bit Freudian, doesn't it? LOL! Well, I don't think that it is, but I'm no expert. =P I do know that the significance of the relationship between a mother and her baby was evident long before anyone started doing controlled attachment studies.

Finally, it's chuffing, to say the least, to see how many of my posts of the month are "coincidentally" fitting the May Is for Mothers theme that I didn't really plan in advance.

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If you're looking for another meme to try, you're welcome to write something for Locus Focus on Saturday. This feature lets us share the settings that we loved with others. I'm excited whenever anyone leaves the link to his own Locus Focus post in my combox, and I make it a point to read and comment on them all! =)

Image Source: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

8 comments:

Sullivan McPig said...

Hmm.... I have to disagree.
Depending on the mother-child bond the presence of the mother can stifle the child in exploring as well. Sometimes it's better to have no one hovering over you while you explore the world as a child.

I do agree that how a mother acts towards her child can influence how that child will later act towards others both in positive and negative ways.

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

Well, the first sentence does mention a stifling effect. I guess the authors don't get into the group of children who are freed up by the absence of their mothers, because the book presumes that someone who is entering an adult relationship wants to have an attachment figure around . . . even if it's not all of the time.

Sullivan McPig said...

The stifling effect mentioned is connected to the departure of the mother though :-p

And it sounds like this book would make my blood boil. But I will confess I have some family issues ;-)

PD Workman said...

Sounds interesting.

Mine this week is for a young adult paranormal murder mystery. Check it out:
http://pdworkman.com/grave-artist-teaser/

And incidentally, I happen to have a fiction book about attachment:

http://pdworkman.com/my-books-2/stand-alone/

fredamans said...

Interesting thought!

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

Sully -- Based on those two sentences alone? They were a more effective "teaser" than I thought! ;-)

My own family issues include not being very attached to my own mother from a young age, but I think that the majority of children younger than eighteen months old (who were the ones in the study) would want an attachment figure around. And for what it's worth, I found the book's advice for "avoidant" adults like me more insightful and helpful than I had expected.

PD -- What a coincidence! It would be interesting to read a novel and to compare the relationships in it to the dynamics outlined in Attached.

Freda -- Indeed! =)

Sheila said...

I would probably love that book! Insecure attachment is the plague of the modern world, I'm convinced. We learn it from our mothers, but the popular advice for a generation has been to keep your kids at arms' length lest we "spoil" them or keep them from being independent. So many, many adults are either incredibly needy or avoidant .... and often made uncomfortable by the very notion of attachment.

Me, I think secure attachment is the prerequisite to independence. That's what my experience shows, and that's what science says too. There's more coming out all the time showing how our parents' presence when we're young actually wires our brains in positive ways that help us weather stress and have good relationships our whole life long.

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

So Sully predicts that his blood will boil, while you predict that you'll love this book! I'm so proud of my teaser. ;-)

But if you're into attachment therapy for children, I must clarify that Attached is mainly about adult relationships. There's a nod toward the history of attachment studies in the first chapter, but the book's main focus is how attachment patterns from childhood manifest in relationships later in life and how people with different attachment styles can learn to meet each other's emotional needs.