Friday Night Movie: The Blob
Welcome to the climax of B-week. As much as I'd like to hype up the B-book that shall be featured in tomorrow's Locus Focus, I have to admit that nothing is going to top . . . The Blob!!!
0:04 Oh, such happy music for a Horror movie! And I can tell that they're not being ironic . . . =)
0:39 Well, okay, the over-all effect is cheesy--but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
1:10 OMG!!! There's a song?!?!? Nobody told me there was a song!!! I'm totally teaching my brothers this. =P
1:23 And if you could see me right now, you'd know that I just made the discovery that one can cha-cha to it, too. (Thank God you can't see me!)
1:56 The music wasn't leading us on. It is a more innocent time.
3:03 I find I've been ruined by the cynical age in which I live. I don't know whether we're supposed to believe him, as Jane does, or scoff aloud as if she could hear us through the fourth wall. (But I want to believe him.)
3:41 Ah, it's just bad luck to be an old man in a teenagers' movie. =S
4:52 Anyone suddenly reminded of The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill from Creepshow? Only one of the Best Horror Shorts of All Freakin' Time!
5:13 My brothers, on the other hand, would see this and think of Pokemon and Bakugan. And I'm writing these random things because I realise this movie is outside the range of what I usually watch, and I'm scrabbling around for my genre bearings.
8:39 He can't do that to us! I smell a plot complication coming. Because when a cheesy premise gets played this straight, the story needs other sources of trouble.
9:29 Good grief! The old man is practically sobbing with pain and fear and the doctor can't even remember to fake his "bedside manner."
0:10 A "big blister," indeed!
0:27 Look at Steve's face! His transition from run-of-the-mill romantic lead to full-fledged Horror hero begins now.
1:36 I wonder what he hopes to find in that book. It had better not be more of that "supersonic" science we had in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman!
1:46 Nobody realises he's in a Horror movie yet . . . especially not these guys.
3:10 A foregone what???
3:57 Oooops! And it's another grown up. =S
5:01 We're just sitting here, waiting for the light. Does your voice suddenly get all sweet and innocent when you have to talk to a traffic cop? LOL!
5:27 Don't bring the fathers into this! Today's teen movies are a bit more "parent friendly" . . . but it's due less to a more mature, universal genre than to older viewers in arrested development.
5:43 Speaking of older . . . am I the only one who wasn't surprised to find out that McQueen was nearly thirty--with years of seafaring, hard work, and military service under his belt--when they cast him as the teenage Steve?
6:06 Heheheheh . . . *awkward*
7:27 I don't believe this guy is a teenager, either.
8:06 Dave's a good guy. Well, if you must be a grown up in a teen movie, you can at least be "a good guy."
8:32 Now I'm really lost. Our hero, his girlfriend and the "bullies" are all friends?
9:26 I'd like to watch this with a real doctor and ask he'd do in a case like this.
0:03 And the Blob evolves from a blister to a parasite. It's getting better.
0:58 You mean that this little pebble has been out there, hotrodding the universe? It's not a bad description, actually--and a really cute one in this context.
2:06 Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I want one!
2:43 Knowing what I do about McQueen's real life, I can't buy him as the straight-laced kid in that gang.
3:00 We can't just leave him here. Does this mean the dog will be a supporting character from now on??? =D
3:21 Another grown up! Okay, that's it . . . Drinking Game!!!
3:37 I love those hospital scenes in which everyone thinks the patient is in bed . . .
3:48 . . . and then looks up to see he really isn't!!!
3:54 He must have absorbed the old man completely. I love how he says that with a straight face.
4:09 I just looked up "trichloroacetic acid." It's used to get rid of warts and its salts can kill weeds. But its in this movie as "supersonic" science.
4:36 What doesn't kill it makes it stronger! =P
4:55 I'm sorry for not suspending my disbelief very well, but isn't the Blob rather easy to outrun? Can't she jump on the examination table?
7:03 Don't be sick in the backseat!
7:10 Nooooo! =O Get the dog!!!!
7:42 We're going to go to the police. Good luck with those grown ups! (Drink! Drink! Drink!)
9:13 A little while ago, it was driving backwards. Now, it's monsters. Don't you hate it when you're telling the truth and everyone thinks you're crazy?
9:39 Am I to conclude that Ritchie is "Blob fodder"?
0:31 This scene would be much more effective if we could actually see the chessboard in the frame. =S (Anyone else been having issues with the cinematographer?)
0:59 Oh, I get it. We're not supposed to know that it's chess until the very last second. (Right?)
3:33 Steve, do you think you might want to take your girlfriend out of the house while both cops are busy elsewhere?
3:37 I wonder where the little dog is. I'm glad someone else cares. I hope they find him!
5:10 They rigged it with a piece of string. It's part of their plan to make us look silly . . . I think you're doing that pretty well by yourself, Sergeant. You tell him,
5:33 I'll admit that I thought the worst of "those kids" when I first saw them as well . . . but anyone who has known them more than a few minutes would see that they're also "good guys."
6:05 Another grown up! (Drink!) And she's doing harm although she doesn't mean to. =(
7:20 You boys have your work to do, and I have mine. LOL! She's even more grown up than the police officer, and she's hindering him, too. Not one, but two generation gaps! =P
8:23 I know where the "big, bad monster" is.
9:50 What's really sad is that you need to see the Blob to know why something that looks like Jell-o can be monstrous. Steve doesn't even have a good story.
9:54 I still don't see why you had to call our folks! I agree! Worst act of betrayal by a Good Guy Grown-up ever!
0:20 It seems that quite a few grown-ups are overly concerned with their reputations. That is, of course, hypocrisy to the young--although image-conscious teenagers are just using a double-standard here.
0:29 Jane is the high school principal's daughter?! LOL--and drink! Steve sure knows how to pick them. ;-)
1:25 Aw, man. That's just bad acting from you, McQueen.
1:46 May I say that I'm amazed that after all that kissing and running around, Jane's makeup looks as pristine as it must have when she left her home?
2:07 McQueen has absolutely no chemistry with the actor who plays his father. Drink!
2:52 By teenage standards, the difference between a good cop and a bad cop is the ability to differentiate a prank from a real crime.
3:42 Just because some kid smacks into his wife on the turnpike doesn't make it a crime to be seventeen years old. Can't you imagine the kids at the drive-in cheering at this line?
4:03 At least we know where the kids are! Famous last words! LOL!
4:13 Oh, look! Someone younger than our teen heroes. Will there be more crossed wills and crossed purposes . . . or can the younger generations get along?
5:05 After all this, we'd better see the dog again!
5:24 Aw, go to bed, kid! If you wake your parents up, I'm going to feed your teddy bear to the Blob!
6:43 Boo! =O . . . And yet they could have executed this "willy-inducing moment" much better than that.
7:14 They're on a mission to find a monster that has already killed a man (maybe two!), but now that they're in a moonlit garden on an illicit rendezvous, the music changes to the romantic theme. ROFL!!!
8:51 The music had stopped, but as soon as Jane stepped into the frame, it started up again! LOL!!!!!!!!
9:22 Believe it or not, Steve, it's actually easier for her to believe you saw a monster eat the doctor than to believe you don't use the shooting star line on every girl you take out--and since she got over the bigger hurdle already, well . . .
9:36 How do you get people to protect themselves from something they don't believe in? It's such a good question that I already know it's going to be better than the answer.
9:48 And I was right. =P
0:25 I really like Jane's outfit. It's not very stealth for what they're doing, but it's so pretty and elegant!
0:55 I wouldn't give [us] much of a chance, wandering around in the middle of the night looking for something that, if we found it, it might kill us. Steve, sweetie, you're still safer being out at night looking for the Blob than doing another nightly activity with your girlfriend that would, in many subgenres of Horror, immediately mark you for death.
1:18 There is so much WIN in this frame.
1:30 Raise your hand if you know Daughter of Horror better as Dementia!
1:40 I'm usually a big fan of the movie-within-a-movie, but given the artistic quality of the film we're watching, I don't want to read too much into this pairing.
2:04 You kids knock it off! Another grown up who isn't a bad person but is just too old to get it. Drink!
2:32 Eighty cents?!?!?! Damn you, inflation!
2:40 They're a decent group of kids, aren't they? =) I'm starting not to mind that they're played by grown ups. =P
4:33 Adults! (Although they seem the same age as the actors playing the teens!) Drink and drink and drink and drink and drink . . . and drink?
5:01 The irony is that that sort of loud music and tipsy mockery would be better suited to younger party people.
5:32 Excuse me. We were just looking for a monster. I promise that if I ever catch a Peeping Tom looking in on me and he says that, I will believe him!
5:53 Beat it! We don't serve kids anyway! Drink for the grumpy grown-up bartender!
5:59 THEY FOUND HIM!!! =D
7:23 DON'T DROP THE DOG!!!
8:38 Here's Johnny!
8:42 The. Dog. Must. Not. Die.
9:32 A moment of silence, please. Pause the video. Let's comfort each other in the combox.
1:23 Call me crazy . . . but this cheesy movie is starting to do it for me.
1:46 OMG!!! I didn't see that coming! Pause the video again and let's PARTY in the combox!
2:28 Do we drink again just because it's Burke? =S
2:45 Is every kid in town in on this? The irony is that the answer is yes!
3:05 We tried to do it the right way. Now we've got to wake this town up ourselves. Go get them, Steve!
3:22 Every criminal in the world was a kid once. So was every police officer.
3:44 You're paranoid, mate!
4:24 Twin beds! LOL!!! And a husband and a wife. Drink and drink!
5:41 Does this movie love the youth or what? Even the littlest kids get it right when their parents don't.
6:08 Do you suppose that teenagers watching this in a Drive In honked their own horns? You know: for solidarity?
7:37 I have to hand it to the writers. Burke isn't a two-dimensional
8:17 We'll keep in touch with you through your radio station! Because social media sites haven't been invented yet! =P
8:36 I hope you didn't slosh yourself silly when the crowd rolled in. But you may drink for the fireman now.
10:00 And now I'm handing it to the director. There's Morality Play level awesomeness here as the audience-in-the-movie mirrors the audience-in-real-life. Do you watch Horror to laugh at someone else's misery?
0:14 You know . . . this is kind of epic.
0:49 And this is kind of funny. =P
0:59 There's an academic paper in this!!!
1:34 A real monster coming out of the movie theatre to scare viewers who were laughing at something scary on screen? I'll need to sleep on this before I can say exactly why it's so fantastic.
2:14 Drink and drink!
2:37 Get the telephone company! Retro isn't retro unless it's from a world without cell phones!
3:32 Anyone getting a legitimate sense of claustrophobia from this?
3:57 It's very nice of the writers to give Burke this chance to redeem himself. =)
4:02 World's Most Useless Flashlight!
4:42 Speaking of World's Worsts . . . =S
5:44 All that red slowly closing in . . . I might actually have nightmares tonight.
6:18 Yeah, it's cheesy--but it gives us the archetypal Father, Mother and Child (none of whom are adults--ROFL!).
6:31 This is why you have to be picky about whom you go out on a date with. Before asking or committing, always ask yourself: "In the event that we don't survive this date, is this someone I would want to die with?"
7:47 Just when everything is going so well, the movie tries to convince us that Steve's yelling can be heard over the phone.
8:26 LOL!!! At the high school, aye? How appropriate!
9:31 Three cheers for the principal! =D
0:01 They thought I was crazy at first . . . Welcome to the club! ;-)
0:15 Do you know what's cool about this movie? It both redeems the teenagers in the eyes of the adults and makes the adults worthy of respect in the eyes of the teenagers.
0:50 In a few hours, we're going to have the sun overhead! A nice reversal of the traditional convention in which the sun heralds the end of the horror: here, it means a renewal.
1:08 Yay! =D
1:51 They're flying it to the Arctic. Wow. Everything was simpler in the 50s! Today, that would cause an international incident and be delayed by United Nations bureaucracy (UN = Real Blob).
2:03 Insert global warming joke here. (Oh, wait. Global warming is a joke.)
2:18 I love that they left room for a sequel, even if the movie itself was so "bad" that a second movie was never made. Ah, well. We'll always have the remake!
Thanks for watching with me, everyone! I appreciate the company. =)
Now here are some great Midnight Warrior reviews to keep the Blob love oozing:
From Midnight, with Love -- The Mike loves The Blob so much that he doesn't concentrate, but diffuses the AWESOME BLOBNESS all over his blog. I've linked to a comparison of this original movie and the 1988 remake, and recommend that you check out everything else even remotely Blob-bish that he has to offer. (And if you're extra cool, you'll cast a vote in his Midnight Madness Tournament.)
My Own Little Corner -- Syrin remembers the movie that inspired the "Monsters and Alien" challenge even when I don't and her review includes a great analysis of what B.O.B. owes to the Blob!