19 January 2011

+JMJ+

First Poems of the Year!



WampersandQ
  2000-05-30-003b

First, an administrative note: Crosses and Cradles will be hosting February's W&Q game. (Thanks again, Dauvit!)

And now for my first poem of the year--one that almost became a free verse love letter to a vampire lover. (Seriously. I'm not just saying that so that what I was actually able to produce looks better in comparison. Really!)



Word: Serum
Question: Are you getting married in the morning?

Red sky at morning--a bridegroom's warning:
The bride has stepped out in a dress made of dawn.

The darkness turning--a maiden's yearning:
Her train flowing out with the light on the lawn.

Golden sky spreading--a start to the wedding:
Her canopy dyed with the serum of sun.

Day unto day calling--an ancient hush falling:
A blush to her cheeks and the trousseau is done.

And that's it for me! Link up your poems in the combox, please, as I can't wait to be shown up for the hack that I am!

17 comments:

Paul Stilwell said...

The poem has me by the second line, and it comes to a very pleasant finish. The imagery has that admirable ambiguity going on, between the particular and archetypal. I enjoyed it! :)

Another W&Q that I let pass by, which I was wanting to enter. Where does the time go?

Hey, there's a question!

It's not the work of a hack.

Dauvit Balfour said...

There's my question! Poor E, you got stuck with a chemist's idea of a good word.

I'm with Stilwell, though: you had me by the second line.

Stilwell, you should play next month, don't forget!

Oh, and of course, I ought to link up my own entry.

Homemaker

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

Stilwell: Thank you. =)

Far be it from me to analyse my own poems, but I think the ambiguity comes from the idea of a bride literally (well, as far as that goes) being married in the morning, because she's wearing it. And it was this imagery that saved me from that vampire lover poem about blood and sex and anguish. (Yikes, I know.)

We'll expect you at Crosses and Cradles next month!

Balfour: Hmmmmm. For about a week, I've been thinking that J picked the word because he thought it would be extra challenging. It never occurred to me that he chose it because he might have wanted it for himself! LOL!

Salome Ellen said...

My W&Q 7 and/or 8 submission is here..... It's good to be back in the saddle!

Salome Ellen said...

Aargh! HERE: http://salomeellen.blogspot.com/2011/01/word-and-question-78.html

(I got distracted reading the comments in the other column.... ;-D )

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

It's great to have you back, too, Ellen! =D

J said...

I'm confused. I didn't pick that word. And I selected mine because I thought that Dauvit would enjoy it were it given to him (although it was not). But perhaps I'm mistaken and you are referring to someone else.

As to your poem, it makes me anxious. The mixture of slow actions versus desires mixed with the initial warning makes the poem feel like a coiling spring leading up to... What comes next?

And I guess I should link my own work here.

What shall I call you?

dylan said...

I compared Ellen to William Carlos Williams and to Charles Simic; I shall compare you, Enbrethiliel, to Dylan Thomas's friend Vernon Watkins! His book Fidelities has many poems that employ internal rhyme. I like your poem, and shall reread it, with perhaps more to say later.

In the meantime, here's my faltering effort.

http://dylanissimus.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/word-question-8/

Sheila said...

I don't know how all your different blog events work, so I rarely comment, but let me just say -- I REALLY like that poem. :)

Dauvit Balfour said...

Well, that's everyone except Lindsay, right? And I haven't seen my word yet. Let's see what she does.

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

J: I'm so sorry! You're right that it isn't your word. I guess I got everyone mixed up in my mind along with the prompts. =S

The poem was actually going to be longer so it could tell a fuller story . . . but I ran out of internal rhymes I could work sunrise colours into!

And I'm glad you picked up on the anxiety. I was beginning to think I was the only one who shared the bridegroom's trepidation. And now I feel a little bad that I put him in a coil and don't know how to get him out . . .

Dylan: Thank you! I don't think I've ever come across Vernon Watkins. I'll keep an eye out for his book that you recommend. =)

Sheila: Thanks a lot!

Until you brought it up, I didn't realise how many blog events I do join. =P "Word & Question", at least, is hosted here. If it seems like something you'd want to try, here is my explanation of how it works:

Playing Poetry

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

Dauvit: Actually, we're also expecting Bat to make an appearance this month. =P

(Just guilting him out of his bat cave . . . and wondering whether last week's bat signal idea was a subconscious nudge especially for him.)

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

What a lovely poem!! Loved the image of a bride in a dress made of dawn. I wish I could write poetry...well done, sweets.

Ashley (Ashley's Bookshelf) said...

Hi. I emailed you about the button!

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

Carol: Thank you, Carol! It's my favourite image, too. =)

Ashley: I've just seen it! It's so great. Thanks so much!

Lindsay said...

Terrible, busy, perfectionistic person that I am... only just now finished my poem. :o( It is here: http://verysleepypeople.com/2011/02/05/word-question-8/

It also is not behaving. I'm quite bummed about that.

Your poem is quite lovely. It packs quite a bit of sophistication into the seemingly simple couplets and rhyme scheme, but one which flows smoothly. The couplets and the brief story-like narrative almost imitate the bridal march which the bride and the attendants must walk. It seems to march you through the procession of the imagery and the ceremony. It's fantastic!

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

I'm glad you like my poem, Lindsay! =) I actually didn't like it very much when I posted it--being a bit of a perfectionist myself when it comes to poetry--but now that we're in a new month, I can't remember what I found so wrong about it. =P Not that I now think it's perfect or anything, but it's not as bad as it was. ;-)

Now I'm off to read yours--which I'm sure is behaving better than you think it is!