"Weird Al" Yankovic Song Smackdown!!! =D
And you thought I wouldn't be able to top the Arnold Schwarzenegger Movie Smackdown. (Admit it!) Oh, you readers of little faith . . .
It took me a while to figure out that the only respectable route to take after sixteen Schwarzenegger movies was that which leads to seventeen "Weird Al" Yankovic songs. (Yes, seventeen! Read on!)
The most redeeming aspect of Shredded Cheddar is that many of the features are interactive (which means that I'm not just talking to myself . . . although it sometimes seems that way); so I'm going to bring more of that into my brackets by allowing my readers to vote in not just the final round, but also the first!
Round 1 -- No randomisation: I pick the songs and pair them up, and you get to be the boss of me and dictate which of the "Spam Sixteen" make it into the "Eat It Eight"!
(You have until next Tuesday, 27 July to vote--but you'd better make your choice by Monday, because unless you're my reader in South Korea or an old classmate from New Zealand, I see the sunrise hours and hours and hours ahead of you! And since I need all the votes in order to write the post for the next round, if I have to leave your last-minute ballot out, I will do so, no matter how much it hurts me!)
Round 2 -- Since I still love randomisation (and it's a tradition), I'll do my infuriating solo thing again and you can complain all you like in the combox. (Music to my ears, your griping!)
Round 3 -- I'll keep my top secret but very exciting plans for the "I'm Fat Four" to myself for now. (Translation: I have no idea what to do, but I'm sure it will be awesome!)
Round 4 -- The Finals!!! Your power to vote comes back. I'm a benevolent dictator here.
So let's do this thing! =D
The Spam Sixteen
Here we pit Yankovic's first big hit (Listen to that the accordion!) against another inspired song about luncheon meat. (A tough choice, I know. But it was even tougher to reject Taco Grande and Lasagne.) The funniest thing about them is that Yankovic has since become a vegetarian. I kid you not.
It was either these two hit singles or "Addicted to Spuds vs. I Love Rocky Road"--so we're going with the tried and true classics. A few years later, sticking with the food theme he is always so successful with, Yankovic wrote a parody of another Michael Jackson song, Black or White; but Snack All Night (LOL!) was never released because Jackson thought the message of his original song was too important to get mixed up with the ideas in a parody. Fair enough, I suppose.
And it was either these two or Gump vs. Yoda--the latter of which would just be the worst sort of indulgence on my part. So I decided to make some sense instead. Next in number to all Yankovic's songs about food are all his songs about movies. Here he retells, with rhymes and refrains, the plots of two major blockbuster movies. (And I've just noticed: Steven Spielberg vs. George Lucas! Sweet!)
Another early hit from a time when rap was still a cool experimental sound and a more genre-aware parody of what is now mostly Hip Hop's domain. (This pairing might not make sense, but I'm trying to show off as much of Yankovic's wide repertoire as I can.) Choose wisely! And then check out my Top 5 Rap Songs by Non-Black People!
And now here is Yankovic going beyond parody into satire. Sometimes the original songs themselves are funny--and he's not afraid to
My Punk Catholic soul can't resist putting these together. I'm a little sad that there is no Catholic parody (at least none that I know of!); but then again, that sort of thing could get really sacrilegious, really fast--so it's probably just as well.
Don't Download This Song vs. E-Bay
The digital age changed the way we do a lot of things--and professional musicians know that best of all. Here we have a song about what happens when we download music for free and a song about what happens when we spend our money on weird stuff. (There's a related parody of Craigslist--which bears the straightforward title Craigslist--but I don't like it as much as these ones.)
Now we have a slight problem. I can find the spoken verses of the first recording online, but not the music. They're still funny enough for me to consider putting them in the smackdown, but I feel this penultimate competitor is handicapped. Which is why, in my usual non sequitur way, I'm handicapping it even more by pitting it against not one, but two songs about animals, giving us seventeen songs in the "Spam Sixteen" and possibly nine songs in the "Eat It Eight". The power to mess with math is in your hands . . .
There were lots of songs that didn't make it and that probably should have. I know I wanted to honour my two
Anyway, R, I hope you're happy now. There's no way anyone can predict the outcome of this bracket.