Friday Night Movie: Silver Bullet
0:18 Yes, Mr. DeLaurentiis, I still feel guilty that I haven't finished live blogging Conan the Barbarian yet. I'm sorry!!!
0:51 And just like that, we're back in the 80s . . .
1:42 Or in the 70s . . . whatever.
2:33 I talk to myself when I'm scared, too.
3:22 I had forgotten about the finding-a-very-strange-footprint tradition in werewolf lore.
3:23 Aww, s***. It's just so tragically hilarious that he knows exactly what the footprint means.
3:32 Interesting cut to the barber shop. (Pun not intended!) My Horror imagination has always associated barbers with decapitation.
3:52 An even better jump! We get the squish without the gore!
4:56 Reverend Lester Lowe, aye? Dare I ask my usual question?
5:11 Marty's a booger! That is something I never thought I'd hear Anne Shirley say! =P
6:27 That sort of stuff happened to Megan Follows in the Anne movies as well.
6:48 That's a lot of rage to feel over a stupid prank . . . =S
7:59 It's not his fault he's crippled, either.
8:33 Don't forget to help your brother. Do they like rubbing salt in her teenage wounds?
1:03 Marty seems like such a sweet little brother. I'm not sure what Jane's problem is.
1:32 It's official. He's the sweetest little brother in the world. Jane needs to get a grip.
2:52 Oh, honey, it's not worth it! Don't do that!
3:08 Suicides go to hell. Especially if they're pregnant. Do you realise that if she gets killed by the werewolf before she takes enough pills to kill herself, she won't be a suicide? Werewolf as vehicle of mercy: who could have imagined it?
4:10 While I'm glad there is a gun in the house, its hiding place and her reaction time leaves so much more to be desired.
5:58 Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I love it!
6:17 A baseball bat called The Peacemaker and a motorised wheelchair called The Silver Bullet? Very, very nice! =D
6:25 Blue on the boy, pink on the girl . . . it's almost too cute.
8:11 Damn cripples! Always end up on welfare! And if the wheelchair's name didn't tip us off, we are now absolutely certain that the crippled boy is going to be the hero.
0:05 A little boy fueling up a wheelchair? Now, that is cuteness I can live with!
0:45 Is there a sister who disapproves of her brother in every generation in this family?
4:01 See the difference? Uncle Red and Tammy's father may seem like the same trashy sort . . . but they're really not.
4:49 And that is how you keep your gun handy!
6:31 I never would have seen it without the music!
7:46 Werewolf as maniac? The characters think they're in a regular Slasher!
7:56 How effective could keeping a curfew and staying indoors be, when people get attacked in their own homes?
8:09 A werewolf movie can't--or more to the point, shouldn't--be anti-gun.
0:11 Oh, so he can climb trees, after all!
1:43 If putting this music over that happy face is supposed to be foreshadowing, it's pretty bad. =(
2:33 Oh. =S But this is as bad as the foreshadowing.
2:58 Did he deliberately omit Jesus' Name?
3:38 I can see why the filmmakers wanted to show the distress of the father rather than the guts of the son, and since the choice was clearly between unconvincing acting and comic gore . . . Well, okay.
3:58 Is the priest of this movie also Stephen King's recurring Father Callahan?
4:48 The face of the beast always becomes known and the time of the beast always passes. Almost too Gothic, even for a Horror movie priest.
5:54 If I ever end up trapped in a Horror movie, I want it to be with someone who believes in Horror.
6:33 And when they catch him, you're going to find out he's just as human as you and me. A hundred points for irony!
6:41 At least Andy is now doing something more useful than spitting poison, but does his vigilantism make anyone else slightly uncomfortable?
7:04 The only deputy you got is that fat s***bag beside you! That may be true, but who wants to bet that the fat s***bag will last longer than Andy will?
7:32 Now, I may be no J. Edgar Hoover, but I am the law in Tarker's Mills. May I apply to this beleaguered but dignified sheriff what G.K. Chesterton once said about military men:
Soldiers have many faults, but they have one redeeming merit; they are never worshippers of force. Soldiers more than any other men are taught severely and systematically that might is not right.
0:52 As for me, I'm going to go out and hunt up a little private justice. Even a grief-stricken Non Serviam is still a Non Serviam. If might does not make right, neither does grief.
1:09 All Andy needs now, to make this a morality play, is red hair.
1:31 The uniforms may give into cynicism, but let's hope the clerical collars never do.
3:50 This had better not be more bad foreshadowing!
4:04 Okay, this is dumb. Bring Corey Haim back! The movie isn't good unless he's on screen.
5:36 Are you going to make lemonade in your pants? Sigh! All together now . . . We want Corey! We want Corey! We want Corey!
6:42 What are you tough guys waiting for??? Do something!!!
6:59 Oh, now that is just laughably bad!
7:23 And that reversal is . . . Well, there are no words!
7:43 I never thought something could be both creepy and cloying. Look at their dead eyes!
0:01 There is no comfort! So Andy already has a successor?
0:44 You all saw this coming, right? ;)
0:58 Now we're talking! How many other werewolf movies have a whole room of lycanthropes transforming at once?
1:27 Just like that . . . the movie is good again.
2:45 And let's all pretend that life is normal . . .
3:10 Jane's walking around in all these new clothes, showing off her t***s. That mean spirit doesn't suit you at all, Marty.
4:17 Uncle Red, you're the best! =D
5:43 I feel like a virgin on Prom Night. ROFLMAO!
5:33 Okay, now I want one, too . . . with my own Electronica soundtrack to go with my first ride.
8:29 Remember: it isn't just the fireworks. It's so no crazy s***head can stop the good guys. Now that is a sermon! Amen!
0:06 Save this for the last. Now this is better foreshadowing, assuming a werewolf can be hurt with firecrackers.
0:53 It seemed as if every 80s kid had a tree or trellis or something handy outside his second-story window.
1:29 I repeat my wish for a motorbike and a cool 80s soundtrack to go with it.
2:21 So the only one who believes the killer is a werewolf goes off alone into a forest, in the middle of the night, to set off really bright fireworks? I guess we're all entitled to one TSTL moment.
2:35 As I was saying . . .
4:10 Nice shot!!! This kid keeps his head!!!
5:36 Something I ask myself on a regular basis: If a loved one called me up in the middle of the night and said he had seen a monster, what would I say?
6:12 I really have to wonder why this movie is being told in flashback.
6:20 She chafes only at having to be responsible for a boy who can take care of himself, but she knows he really needs her if he's up against a werewolf. Good sister!
7:58 She rebounds wonderfully! Now everyone thinks she's rude, but not weird!
8:31 It's scary when people are all eyes . . .
0:21 Why don't you look at his eyes, Jane?
0:48 Do you think he understood enough in his werewolf state to know that it was Marty who wounded him?
1:26 PEPSI! How 80s is that??? =D Oh, wait. Coke is there, too . . .
1:32 Crush! I've never had that. I guess it's not available any longer?
2:19 Remember what happened the last time a shadow fell across someone like that?
2:49 She was cool enough earlier, but I guess she never expected to be cornered.
3:04 Give my best to your brother, Jane. Oh, Lord! He knows!
3:28 Marty, what are we going to do? I like the symbolism of the ballerina's foot delicately balanced on an egg--even if it's probably accidental.
4:35 From white bandage to black eye patch . . . There's something about a one-eyed villain . . .
6:00 I'm a little too old to be playing The Hardy Boys Meet Reverend Werewolf! Stephen King had fun creating this character!
6:17 Everyone needs an uncle like this--one who's all quotable bluster.
6:46 And I know there was something strange about the way the garage smelled that day. It smelled like an animal's den. Watch out, Jane. You're supposed to be the token super sensible character who never gets fanciful.
7:32 Not even the new Silver Bullet can make up for useless legs.
7:36 I love the way the car and the music both just creep in.
0:44 Marty gets into a lot of trouble on bridges, doesn't he?
1:38 And sometimes he seeks trouble on bridges . . .
1:50 For someone desperate to murder another, the Reverend isn't very focussed on his driving.
2:08 That plank was too easy to break through . . . and notice the Silver Bullet-sized hole that was already there.
3:41 Stella was going to commit suicide, and if she had done so, she would be burning in hell right now. I cannot believe how spot on I was about that!
4:32 Yes, Reverend, I see how ALL things serve the will and the mind of God Eternal.
5:49 At least they have a case!
7:05 You don't think the Sheriff is going to be next, do you?
8:00 For some reason, I now remember when the Reverend was trying to stop the vigilantes. Did he really not want to have to kill them, or was it all an act?
8:29 That's right, Sheriff. Just walk into its den, after everything Uncle Red told you.
0:30 The light is all wrong for a shadow to fall, but this is a great time for the Reverend to pop up.
1:29 Whoa! So he can change at will?
1:47 He must be the first werewolf to kill someone with a baseball bat.
2:31 The moon wasn't even full! That was what I was thinking, but we're dealing with a different kind of monster here.
2:43 As the moon gets fuller . . . The guy gets wolfier. Hahahahahahaha! I love the way they say that with absolutely serious faces!
4:17 You want a silver bullet, aye? Don't you love salesmen who know their stuff?
4:39 A crucifix and a medallion? Would the latter be St. Benedict's medal or a Miraculous Medal?
6:02 Halloween! This movie doesn't embarrass easily . . . but we already knew that.
6:32 Uncle Red is amazing!
7:17 Publisher's Clearing House! He's a writer? That explains why he has all the best lines.
0:10 Don't split them up now, Uncle Red!!!
0:51 Don't waste that bullet!
1:44 Aaaaaaaaaahhhh! (The music and editing are going to be the death of me.)
2:17 Put that bullet back in that revolver NOW!
3:31 Wow. Marty is such a good shot!
4:45 What the h*** was that all about???
5:29 Brother and sister aren't a common pairing in Horror, but I like these two. =)
8:32 And the 80s song kicks in! This movie doesn't have a great soundtrack, but I can live with it.
Now that we're done, my verdict . . .
While I think the werewolf transformation scenes are excellent, and there are a respectable number of scenes that really made me jump out of my skin . . . I found the whole story to be a thematic mess. It should be significant that a crippled boy is the only one who can take out the werewolf--but little is made of that beyond chase scenes on the cool new Silver Bullet. The brother-sister pairing also has lots of potential, but it is reduced to spots of sentiment here and there.
I was happy with the performances of Haim, Gary Busey and Terry O'Quinn (though everyone else seemed uneven or unconvincing to me)--and was particularly charmed with the great chemistry Busey had with his young co-stars. So I'm not too disappointed: I watched it for Haim and got a lot of Haim.
And now I want to read King's original Cycle of the Werewolf.
As a Friday Night Movie, it's not great, but as a way to remember an 80s child actor, it delivered all that and more.
Thanks for sticking around!