04 January 2010

+JMJ+

Fifteen Things about Shake, Rattle & Roll XI


15. This is the first Horror movie I've watched on the big screen since . . . Let me put it this way: Does Alien3 count?

14. As soon as the blood-on-white opening sequence began, people around me started tittering, laughing and murmuring about what they expected to see. I was rather annoyed . . . until we all started yelling stuff at the screen together.

13. Do you have any idea how proud I feel to have supported the Metro Manila Film Festival with my own hard-earned money? =D Also, please note that despite the general panning tone I take, I had a great time at the cinema!

12. On Diablo: What kind of Mass has the Ama Namin (Pater Noster) before the Consecration?

11. And what kind of exorcists say the Mass in Filipino and then say (what is supposed to be) the Rite of Exorcism in English??? Remember the general rule of Horror movies: Everything is better in Latin.

10. Is it really true that you need to get the Archbishop's permission before attempting an exorcism? If so, then I think I know why, because the two priests who tried it here must be the most inefficient, farcical exorcists in the history of cinema.

9. There is a crucifixion scene in this Horror short, by the way . . . and it's second in cheesiness only to the crucifixion scene in the gratuitously 80s Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle Cyborg.

8. On Ukay-ukay: This Horror short about a cursed wedding gown and an angry bride armed with a chainsaw gives new--and highly appreciated--meaning to the tired old term "Bridezilla."

7. Remember what I said about the flamboyant fashion designer defending himself with a hairbrush? Well, it turned out to be a toilet plunger. A pink toilet plunger. With little feathers near the base.

6. Nice detail: if you look closely at the alarm clock on the bedside table whenever something paranormal takes place, you'll see that it always happens at 3:00 AM. (Someone on the production crew must have really liked the Hollywood Horror film The Exorcism of Emily Rose.)

5. Some advice I will take away from this movie: "Lumuhod ka na sa Baclaran para bongang-bonga ang kasal mo!"

4. What's the use of having a man spend the night with you if you still end up investigating those strange noises downstairs on your own? (One of the words I yelled at the screen at this point was, "Inutil!")

3. On Lamanglupa: This short must have been aimed at the teen segment. I recognised exactly one young ingenue.

2. How is this for a Team Jacob Victory? All the boys there, with their mussed up hair and sleeveless shirts, were obviously trying to channel Taylor Lautner. I'm sorry, Rob Pattinson, but only girls want to be sparklepires like you.

1. A decent Slasher movie, even a short, will let you care a little bit about the characters before taking them down. This is not a decent Slasher movie.

Image Source: Shake, Rattle & Roll XI poster

2 comments:

ninjapeps said...

Wikipedia has a decently sized poster.

Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

I know, but that's the teaser poster. I want the one with the stars on it! =P